God is writing my love story: The count is over

 

In 2014, William Murphy put out a song called " Its working" and just like so many other gospel songs, it blew up. A couple of weeks ago, it was ringing in my spirit and this was the chance that I really sat down and listened to the song and meditate on it. 

"This is my season for grace for favor, 

  This is my season to reap what I have sown..." 

It's been a loooonnnng long time coming to see this day. Sowing seeds is definitely a process and you have to make sure that the seeds that you are growing are growing on fertile ground. God allows us to go through life and plant seeds within us to help us grow into what He wants us to become, and that is to be more like him. Are you that fertile ground that Jesus mentioned in that parable in Matthew 13:1-9? Are you exercising your faith like it talks about in the other parable  in Matthew 13:31-32? 

Side note: Go read your bible and see what Matthew says... 😉

Allow God to plant those seeds of life in you so that when you get tested, you will be like the tree planted along the river bank (Jeremiah 17:7-8) not worrying about nothing because you are so rooted in God, nothing and no one can't change your mind about it. 

And that's what happened with me. I have always had faith in God and believed in the seeds that he planted in me: those dreams and desires of so many things, including love here on earth. To experience it like I would imagine, that's happening now is....is....its more than I would imagine. After a 20 year "hiatus", God showed what he was doing....He showed me that he has been writing my love story this entire time.

"See, I haven't been perfect, but I sure been faithful

See, God's got a purpose yes and I know he's able

I've got a seed in the ground, that he's blessing no more stressing

I've got a seed in the ground, now I know him I can show him"

See, I haven't been perfect. I have struggles and have fallen into temptation plenty of times. I felt like "Dear Guy Friend" would satisfy that space where my husband to be was suppose to be, however those lessons of relationships and situationships gave me an opportunity to learn about myself and help me to recognize the only love that I ever needed was from our Abba Father. The God who IS love. Despite of my mishaps and mistakes....some dumb ones at that, God still saw me as his faithful servant daughter. I have a purpose in this life and that purpose is to be a conduit of His light to shine throughout this dark and dreary world and to be a conduit of his love. To show the love of Christ to others, even when they are in disbelief. 

"Listen, everything is working together for my good

Everything is working (Don't feel good) together for my good

Everything is working together for my good"

Multiple times I had proclaimed that I was content of being single and for the most part I was, but I still had the longing desire to have someone, for them to their queen, their hunny bunny, their wife. Each time I proclaimed "CONTENTMENT", I was lead back to God, trusting his process, allowing him to mold me and prune me so I can be prepared, not just becoming someone's wife but becoming what God wanted me to become: his servant, minister, educator, mentor, that light.

Side Note: That Wife Ministry though..... 

 

"God is leaning in my direction He's leaning in my direction"

God causes EVERYTHING to work out for YOUR good and MINE! I didn't realize that over the course of 20 years God was working it out. Over the course of 6 years, God was preparing me specifically for this moment in time. He allowed me to date who I dated. One, I had to let go and just last November, God made that person go. 

But *koolaid smile insert* literally days later, I received a friend request from someone that I would have never thought I would get.....but I did. A person from the past. A person in our youth, from undergrad. A fellow Wildcat that I once dated in our sophomore year.  I accepted the friend request out of curiosity.  I wasn't sure what it was about and as things started to go along, I soon realized it was 👇👇👇

"This is my season for grace for favor, yeah

This is my season to reap what I have sown

I've got a seed in the ground, I've got a seed in the ground

And I don't care what your circumstance says, it's already getting better"

The title of this post is "God is writing my love story: The Count is over". God has been writing my love story, beginning with His Son Jesus Christ dying on the cross for me and you. Now he allowing me bring this counting season to a close. Last year I was hearing a lot of preachers saying one word and that's "suddenly".... "God is going to do it SUDDENLY" and just know that God's promises are YES and AMEN! 

My love story continues to be written and I am loving the way it is being unfolded. I was prepared for this....for ALL OF IT. I'm grateful, I'm thankful and I am truly blessed of who God has put in my life. For that I say..... I am no longer counting. The count is over!

Side Note: Keep God first, keep him in the middle of it and allow HIM to write YOUR story. 

 

Last last thing, please support a sister and go on Amazon.com to get you a copy and your friend and next door neighbor a copy. I am sure it will bless you. 

THE LINK!!!
https://a.co/d/2qztFBg

##Godhassomethinggreatinstoreforme  #InExpectation #2024isgoingtobeagoodyear #DoMore #Stretching #Elevation #Promotion  #HisWifeToBe  

My Plan vs. His Plan

Proverbs 16:9 The Passion Translation states "Within your heart you can make plans for your future, but the Lord chooses the steps you take to get there."

 

One of the favorite scriptures written by the Apostle Paul that us Church folks like to recite and yet it is very profound is Romans 8:28 NLT says "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." 

TPT says "So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together for good, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfil his designed purpose." 

Sidenote: Translations of the bible are a great way to read God's Word to understand it where you are. Everyone can't understand the King James Version. New King James Version and then New International Version are a good start.

I like how the TPT version says "continually". God's plan and purpose for us has already been laid out, we are just walking it out in our everyday lives.  God created us with a purpose and those desires of what we want to do to help make this world to be a better place, He put those desires in us. Those who are Christ Followers know that God has a plan and purpose is for ALL humanity. Whether you believe in the Triune God (God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit) like I do or you don't believe, know that YOU were born ON Purpose WITH a Purpose. 

https://beuunstoppable.com/products/born-on-purpose

Sidenote: I love me a good t-shirt and while I was looking for a graphic for this part of my post, I found this website. I love it when people use their gifts and shine the light of Christ at the same time! 

So when we start to plan out what our life would look like, there will be obstacles that might get in our way before getting to our destinations. 

For example: Back in high school (between 1999-2003), my plans for my life were the following:

• Go to college to receive my bachelors Elementary Education
• Go to grad school to receive my masters in Counseling so I can become a School Counselor
• Finally top off the higher education with a Doctoral degree to be come a child psychologist
• Get married in my mid 20s
• Have kids between 28-30
• Enjoy my life with my family
• Have some family businesses

Uhh...yeah. Life went like thise

• 2003, I graduate from HS and went to school...The GREAT BETHUNE-COOKMAN COLLEGE (then) and now University! HAIL WILDCATS!
• 2009 I FINALLY graduated from school 
• In 2009, I turned 24 and I was still single
• Fall 2009 I started Grad school to become a Counselor but I dropped out because I wasn't mentally ready for the online school class load. I ended up dropping out...
• 2016, I started this blog
• Ten years later, I began my masters program at The GREAT Bethune-Cookman University for Christian Ministry.... I became a licensed Minister that year as well.
• 2019....still no ring, no proposal, still single
• 2020....y'all know what happened 😷
• 2021, I got my masters....Praise The Lord but no ring...not married 
• 2022, I published 13YAC 😀
• 2024....I FINALLY started my Counseling Program YAAAAYY....but no ring....not yet.

I could have went into details as to how things didn't necessarily went my way but just know this, EVERYTHING that happened whether good, bad or indifferent WORK OUT for MY GOOD and for GOD'S GLORY!

Last last thing, please support a sister and go on Amazon.com to get you a copy and your friend and next door neighbor a copy. I am sure it will bless you. 

THE LINK!!!
https://a.co/d/2qztFBg

##Godhassomethinggreatinstoreforme  #InExpectation #2024isgoingtobeagoodyear #DoMore #Stretching #Elevation #Promotion  #HisWifeToBe  

The Anti-Hero: The Imposter Syndrome

 

I'm not the biggest Taylor Swift fan but I do like a couple of her songs; "shake it off" and "Anti-Hero".  I don't know what I like about the song "Anti-Hero". I don't know if it is the hook that says "It's me, HI, I'm the problem is me" or just the music but either way, I have found myself as the Anti-Hero in my romantic relationships as well. When I think about the Anti-Hero, I think about Deadpool, Loki, and Wanda A.K.A The Scarlett Witch. 

Really quickly. Wanda Maximoff have gone through some pain y'all; she lost her parents, her brother and the love of her life Vision. In the Disney Plus series "WandaVision", Wanda creates this entire town and put them under her Scarlett Witch spell in order to deal with the pain that she has not allowed herself to unpack and heal from. 

Sidenote: I am a Marvel Fanatic! #TeamMCU

Hmm.... that sounds familiar. While going through life, I wasn't able to properly go through the healing process when I was rejected or when things didn't work out with the person that I was with. Hence the last post I encouraged US to go seek some help.

Sidenote: If you are realizing some traits that opposes your character, you should look into it with a professional.

I did go to counseling a few times but I think I needed more than what I allowed myself to get from it. The Anti-Hero that is within me is someone who has been hurt and hasn't come to find the root of the issue. She is also, doubtful and insecure about herself. 

I am saved, sanctified and filled with the Holy Ghost as the saints say, however I struggle sometimes with keeping in mind of who I serve. I serve the True and Living King that sits up high and looks down low. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel. The Triune God (God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit) that has given me the tools to remind myself of  who He is, who I am and how I need to fight these daily battles. 

                                              

 Read, Study, Meditate, Apply, REPEAT!

Sidenote: If you are a believer in 2024, we have to immerse ourselves in God's Word and STAND FIRM ON IT. It's way too much out there and the Devil is making this world even more ghetto than it was before #IYKYK

Recently, I recognize that I see something happening great in my life and I find a way to sabotage it. The experts call it the "Imposter Syndrome".

According to  website Very well mind, the imposter syndrome is "the internal psychological experience of feeling like a phony in some area of your life, despite any success that you have achieved in that area."

https://www.verywellmind.com/imposter-syndrome-and-social-anxiety-disorder-4156469

On this website, it also shares the traits of an imposter syndrome:

• An inability to realistically assess your competence and skills
• Attributing your success to external factors
• Berating your performance
• Fear that you won't live up to expectations
• Overachieving 
• Sabotaging your own success
• Self-doubt
• Setting very challenging goals and feeling disappointed when you fall short4

Sometimes, I am heavy on the self-doubt and even the self-sabotage. It's like, when you have something great in front of you and you can't believe this is happening to you and that it is "too good to be true", fear rushes in. You think to yourself, it's just going to be like the last time or I have this opportunity that I have been waiting for a long time ...you are ready, you are qualified, its an answered prayer but you let that four letter word soak into your soul...FEAR.

I like how people play with words and use acronyms to help explain their message. You might have already heard this before but with fear, you can either "Forget Everything And Run", meaning forget what God has said and what He has promised you OR you can "Face Everything And Rise"! Face those things YOU KNOW God is in and RISE to the occasion to overcome and achieve. 

Jesus tells His disciples John 10:10 (NLT) says "The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."

The thief is the devil and he is going to find anyway to derail our lives. I REBUKE HIM and his schemes IN THE NAME OF JESUS!!!  

 I love that song "Fear is not my Future" by Maverick City 

Fear is not my future
You are (You are), You are (You are)
Sickness is not my story
You are (You are), You are (You are)
Heartbreak's not my home (You can stay here)
You are (You are), You are (death is not the end)
Death is not the end
Jesus, You are (You are), You are

So hello peace, hello joy
Hello love (it's a new day)
Hello strength, hello hope
It's a new horizon (the sun is coming up)
Hello peace, hello joy
Hello love
Hello strength, hello hope
It's a new horizon (Fear is not my future)

So I say goodbye to the Anti-Hero. She no longer lives here. I have THE TRUE HERO residing in me and that's Jesus Christ. 

Last last thing, please support a sister and go on Amazon.com to get you a copy and your friend and next door neighbor a copy. I am sure it will bless you. 

THE LINK!!!
https://a.co/d/2qztFBg

##Godhassomethinggreatinstoreforme  #InExpectation #2024isgoingtobeagoodyear #DoMore #Stretching #Elevation #Promotion  #HisWifeToBe  

#Year20and1/2

 

I'm backkkk! From taking a break from my blog to write my book in 2018 . To publishing in 2022 because fear was holding me back and now I am BACK blogging. 

The title of this blog post is #Year20and1/2.  Almost 21 years of being single.....whew chile. Now let me get a little more specific; I have been counting the years of being NOT married. I am a single that has NEVER been married that one day soon wants to be married.  

Yes, after that break up with my ex in HS, I have had a share of relationships ( about 3 of them) and plenty of situationships/"Dear Guy Friends". 

Sidenote:  If you would scroll some ways back in my blog, you will discover what a "Dear Guy Friend" is.

 

Also, It's 2024, so everyone should know by now what a "situationship" is but those who don't know, it is the following; From https://www.choosingtherapy.com/situationship/ it shares the signs.                        

  Now, we got that out the way, let's get into why am I still counting? On the record, at a certain point, I did stop counting but with the blog and the book entitled "13 Years and Counting",  so let me just humor you a bit with my love life and counting. 

Just like everyone else, there is no perfect person but a sister had to keep her standards...after lowering them multiple times. I felt like throughout the years of my singleness and me wanting to be "found" by my godly husband, I found myself not allowing myself to find MYSELF. Meaning, I was so caught up in wanting to be a wife, to be someone's good thing, that I couldn't find Jeanine. I couldn't be my own good thing; loving myself, allowing myself to grow. However, I realize that that was my growing process. All of us have been through something right? RIGHT?! So those things that we either allow to happen or it was divine or was it all divine? hmmm.... but anyway, those pains and even our successes helped shaped us to who we are today.  

I've dealt with a lot of baggage of low-self concept; not believing in myself, not believing that I could be worth someone to love.

 Remember, I had some Daddy issues and those issues didn't get appropriately handle. He passed away when I was 6 years old. So I carried the weight of not feeling loved by a man although I not only had men in my life that showed me love but I have an Abba Father in Heaven that loves me so much that He gave his One and Only Son Jesus Christ to die for my sins and its now seated at the right hand of the Father making intercessions for me and you. his Love covers a multitude of sins. 

        

One second.... I need a praise break

I could go on and on but that will take up too much time.... okay one more. 

If it HAD NOT BEEN FOR THE LORD ON MY SIDE?!! I would be lost, in a ditch somewhere with my mind completely GONE. So I gotta give my God the praise! Somethings in my life could have took me out BUT GOD!

 

   But....you see me though?  How beautiful and radiant I look. Yes, that is a genuine smile. I am happy because I CHOOSE to be happy. I CHOOSE life. I CHOOSE...ME.  It is my second half of my 38th year and although those "somethings" have transpire 

S/O to my Sister Shonda with her hat collection!

Please check it out on the IG @Riverroadhats, she is doing her thing!

and got me in a very low place that I didn't imagined I would see myself again... I was able to pray through it and talk it out with my village and I got better. 

Sidenote: Jesus PLUS Therapy equals HEALING

There are plenty of websites and apps to get you some help. Let's be Free in 2024

Grow Therapy and Better Help just to name a couple.

Look how happy she is because she got Jesus and Therapy!

Go to her Esty shop and get you some merch!

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1261509227/jesus-therapy-healing-t-shirt-christian

                                                                              

Here I am, on the 8th day of the first month of the new year starting my blog back up to encourage and inspire. Whether you are a single like me that wants the entire marriage life one day or you just stopped by to see what I am talking about, WELCOME!  I pray that my thoughts and stories will indeed inspire you to get ready for MORE in 2024. As my mother, my rock so eloquently said on December 31, 2023 "If we want more in 2024, we have to DO more" and as my Pastor said on Sunday (S/O to Kingdom Fellowship AME Church) "Its time to renegotiate"; renegotiate how we spend time with our Heavenly Father in prayer and seeking his face through his Word. We have to renegotiate our behaviors and habits that have not allowed us to elevate to our highest potential.  Here is the link for the sermon. It is worth listening to! https://www.youtube.com/live/dXegQbIjP2k?si=dJcRKLvbmPdft9JY

I pray that as you continue to journey with me on self-love, self-discovery and my growth in my relationship with God, that you also may discover something that will inspire you to be the best that you can be. 

Last last thing, please support a sister and go on Amazon.com to get you a copy and your friend and next door neighbor a copy. I am sure it will bless you. 

THE LINK!!!
https://a.co/d/2qztFBg

##Godhassomethinggreatinstoreforme  #InExpectation #2024isgoingtobeagoodyear #DoMore #Stretching #Elevation #Promotion  #HisWifeToBe