Dear Guy Friend

Dear Guy Friend,

For so long, we would enjoy a good laugh, intimate conversations, and a little bit of flirting. However I have a confession, I have been using you. Because of this extensive wait of the right one to come around, I get a little lonely and I can get a little bored.  So I entertain the thought of you being him and at times, I get so wrapped up in those thoughts, feelings begin to develop and then I become attached knowing that there is a 50/50 chance that you aren't the one. And sometimes I actually already know you aren't the one because I either consulted with God or He will flat out tell me "NO". 

So its kinda me wasting OUR time with all the face time chats, FB messengers, IG DMs, Groupme and whatever form of communication we decide to choose that day. I mean, don't get me wrong, I enjoy talking with you and I am sure its mutual however you won't be hearing much from me anymore. It's not quite fair that I occupy ALOT of my time with you and not with Jesus.

I know you probably saying "oh here we go, she's one of those girls that calls Jesus her husband". Well technically, He is my husband because I am the Bride (The Church) and daily, I need to cultivate my relationship with Him and not have unnecessary distractions in my life.  

I owe us both an apology.

Yours Truly,

Not yours 

Has anyone been in this situation before? Wasting time on people that may have your best interest but not the one to continue to invest your time into? For years, I would be in this cycle of talking with multiple guys, at the same time: not dating, just chatting, filling that void that can be easily filled with my time with God.  The Apostle Paul mentions about singleness in 1 Corinthians 7 and how he would wish that the people in Corinth would be single but he understands the burning sensation to have sex, you might as well get married. He's NOT saying get married to have sex but if you are courting (dating to marry) and that couple is FEELING THE FIRE OF PASSION, then go ahead and get married, because it is better to marry than to BURN. 

For those who maybe in my situation where I would occupy myself specifically with men, don't do it.  This is the time where self-discovery is taking place.  I thank God for these men, because they are helping me learn more about myself and understand more of how men think especially when they say they are interested but not the degree I would want them to be interested. 

Side Note: when I get the chance I will do the VLOG version of this post. 

                                                                     

https://youtu.be/uimb_loeowE

Message version of 1 Corinthians 7:1-9

1 Corinthians 7The Message (MSG)

To Be Married, to Be Single . . .

7 Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?

2-6 Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.

7 Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.

8-9 I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.

https://youtu.be/uimb_loeowE