Year 14

It's been 14 years, 168 months, and 5,110 days since I have been an official relationship. It was two weeks before Senior Prom when I broke up with my HS boyfriend; not because he hurt me or he was a bad boyfriend but because I "fell out of love". Give me a break guys, I was only 17 and pretty immature. Now here I am 14 years later writing about my singleness, that's something.



 Some would think something is wrong with me or something is wrong with the men but its neither.  If you know me personally or know me through my social media and this blog, you know that I am a Unapologetic Christian. I Luh God!

My philosophy of life is "Everything Happens For A Reason" and for me to be single for this long it is for a reason.  These past 14 years I have learned so many things about myself and the lessons that God allowed me to go through; some I had to repeat the courses because I didn't get it the first few times but now I am more vigilant, a little more wiser, and because of those lessons (and repeated lessons) God has grew me into the woman of God that I am today.

Do I still make mistakes? Of course, I am Human (I am Groot)

, I was born to make error (Psalm 51:5), that is why I believe in God that loves me, that love US SO much that He gave up His  only beloved Son to sacrifice Himself for US so that we can be reconnected back with The Truth and Living God that is merciful and have unconditional love for his creation and for his children (John 3:16-17)  

This road of singleness has taught me how to rely solely on God and not people.  Growing up I developed self-esteem issues and became depressed due to my father's transition. I was raised in a loving godly home with my family speaking life over me and praying for me but that the end I had to say and believe those things for myself: that I am fearfully and wonderfully
made, that I am smart, creative, ambitious, driven, a child of God. Externally I didn't exude those things because I allowed myself to let what the world dictate who I should be and what I should do which was people pleasing.

I was so desperate of keeping people in my life that I would comprised and wouldn't do the right thing and that thing for me was to say "NO". Not just to others but to myself; "No Jeanine, you are going to finish what you have started", "No Jeanine, You will NOT settle for just anything:"No Jeanine, you are going to tell that young man NO and keep yourself pure", "NO Jeanine, you are NOT your PAST even... if it was the night before"."No Jeanine, YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES YOU STRENGTH!"

So how can I move forward with this Year 14? I 'll say this, I am not bitter, I am not sad, or angry because God has not given me my Boaz or Adam or whoever because God's timing is ALWAYS the BEST.

Just like a baby growing inside of its mother's womb, it has 9 months to grow and develop healthy.  If the baby comes out too soon, he or she will have complications and it will take longer for the baby to come home to his/her family. Or during trimesters, the Mommy-to-be has to be more careful of what she does; she can't be reckless or something terrible will happen to her and the baby.

When God puts you in a season of singleness or of solitude, He doesn't want you to be reckless because during this alone time, He is given us the opportunity to birth something amazing in our lives, something He has called us to do; work on ourselves, ministry, school, businesses, traveling, getting closer with Him while doing those things, etc! As much as I want the relationship, the marriage, the babies, I don't want to jump into anything until God says so.  If I were to meet that person that I am suppose to be with for however long God wants us to be together and we weren't suppose to date at that time, just like that premature baby, our development wasn't fully matured and we weren't ready for each other and things could possibly crash and burn. Or it could be that situation that starts out great but then gets super rocky super quick and then we have to go through all this

OR THIS ONE

heartache and pain before getting to where God wants us to be. OR I could just jump into a relationship and then catch feelings for the wrong dude. I know I know, every relationship has it struggles but man, didn't I say I have been single for 14 years, 168 months and 5,110 days?  I don't want neither scenario.

I was told to take advantage of this time and even though at times it seems to get tough and lonely, I can look up and ask the Father in Heaven and ask Him to comfort me.

Here's to you Year 14, let you ever be in my favor.